Sixteen days ago, I graduated from the University of Massachusetts Amherst. I am using this opportunity to look back on my time at college and reminisce before taking the leap into the next chapter.

On the 23rd of December, 2020, I received the news that I had been accepted into the University of Massachusetts Amherst. It wasn’t my top choice, but it was a huge relief for me since I received a scholarship and it was the highest ranked university I got into at the time. There was a catch though, I didn’t get in to my preferred major of Computer Science. Over the next few months, my other college results started pouring in. Mostly rejections, so finally I was left with three choices. Penn State, UMass or UCSD. I had a scholarship at UMass and it was higher ranked at the time than Penn State so that was an easy choice. The next decision was a bit of a challenge. UCSD was higher ranked, and also more prestigious by name and brand value. However, it was almost three times the cost of attending UMass. Another factor was that my childhood best friend, Urvish and my family friend Vasi were going to UMass, so my parents felt that it was a safer option. On April 2nd 2021, I committed to UMass Amherst.

Very soon, I was getting into the thick of being a social person. This was the first time I had to make new friends on my own since like third grade since I had never changed school since joining Greenwood High. I was very active on the UMass Confused Desis group, I helped make an FAQ document as well (quite ironic in hindsight since I hadn’t gone to the university either) and had a groupchat called the “Inner Circle”. We talked on that group chat about hanging out on campus, helping each other out and stuff. I was pretty excited as I was leaving and pretty much had everything planned out. Life does love to throw you some curveballs. The “Inner Circle” never met on campus. My roommate and I had some differences and he ended moving out. I had maybe one close friend on campus who I didn’t already know before. I threw my own birthday party and kind of had to beg people to come. One huge positive was meeting Anirudh, who I pulled into my room after my roommate moved out. The fun I had in the room with him will still be one of my favorite memories of college. Outside of that though, I was pretty sad and missed home a lot. I didn’t have a friend group for the first time in a decade, I was feeling pretty academically unchallenged, I was missing home food a lot even though UMass Dining was #1 in the country and I was feeling more and more distant from my friends back at home. That winter break was tumultuous as well and I remember feeling dreadful about going back.

The next semester I took COMPSCI220, in this class I met the people that would become my family on campus. At first I only hung out with them outside the classroom for a few minutes after class ended, then I started going and doing my homework with them for that class, then the IPL season started and I discovered that they were RCB fans so I started watching IPL games with them and slowly I started feeling like I could belong on this campus after all. Here was the catch though, they were all a year older than me. There was one day where I was with a bunch of people who I got along with well but never felt included by and for some reason it nagged in my head that I would have to be in the university for a year with only them. This thought became more and more prevalent in my head and eventually snowballed into a decision. I consulted my academic advisor and set out a plan. I had to graduate a year early, I had to graduate at the same time as this group of people that had made me feel at home.

Two years and a lifetime worth of memories later, I think this was the best decision I made in my life. That may sound like an exaggeration but until you’re an adult, most of your choices are made for you. This was a huge decision that I took myself where the onus of executing also fell upon me. It wasn’t easy, I sacrificed two winter breaks and a summer break, and had to overload credits in two semesters. But it always felt worth it. The goal of being able to graduate with my found family and to be able to share that moment with them was the alluring bright light at the end of the long tunnel. I’ve recapped the 2022-23 academic year in this article so I won’t rehash here but there were some amazing memories from this year that I would like to recount.

The summer had been a thrill. I interned in the place where I grew up in, the San Francisco Bay Area so I was pampered and taken care of by so many lovely people. It was my first experience of truly adulting, figuring out when to eat what meal, how to make it, budgeting, thinking about when to get to work to impress my boss and so much socializing. I came off that summer with a pretty big high, which got instantly deflated upon spending two weeks alone in Amherst for RA training prior to the Fall semester starting. The first month of my fall semester was pretty sad for me. I’m not even sure why but I suspect it was due to the sharp contrast of going from a life of complete independence to the rigid structure of college and moving from a vast city back to the middle of nowhere.

Thankfully, my friends are awesome so they picked me up with an awesome birthday surprise and a fun visit to the trampoline park followed by a visit to Six Flags. This long weekend bonanza did wonders to my morale and made me realize that I was surrounded by lovely people and that I should make the most of my time with them! What ensued was a month of shenanigans and fun memories. We went to the Indian dance event, Garbhangra, we played Intramural Football and just had a lot of fun. Intramural especially was memorable for me because organized sport is something I always loved taking part in and to feel like a team and a collective unit was a thrill that I cannot match with anything else. November was no less of a doozy, the month started off on fire with a trip to NYC for Rachel’s bday. Then, we were hosted by Sadiv’s family for Deepavali. That was one of the most memorable weekends I’ve spent and as always, Sadiv and his parents made me feel like I had a home away from home. We were back at Sadiv’s house within a week for Thanksgiving break where we went Black Friday shopping and Sadiv made us the most amazing dinner for Friendsgiving. It was also during this trip where Pranav and I decided to start a startup. An idea that had been brewing in our heads for the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving break had become like a song that I couldn’t get out of my head. In Sadiv’s basement we came up with our plan of what we wanted to make and convinced Nikhil, Vedanth and Goli to join us on our adventure.

For context, the job market was (and still is) really bad, especially in tech. I was getting more and more anxious about a finding a job and something was beginning to spark inside of me that was a desire to escape this system. That coupled with some friends who had a similar feeling led us to create Paradigm Artificial Intelligence Inc.

With an entrepreneurial pursuit in the back of my mind and a new found sense of purpose I came back to Bangalore for my winter break. This winter was definitely one of my favorite breaks I’ve come back home for. I had not come back in a year so every interaction was one of joy and happiness in meeting my friends and family. I went to Andaman and Nicobar islands with my family, did dosa tour again with Kudavelly, met Kheshav and so many of my GWH gang, the 38 bus gang, Zoe, Arohi, Pulky and then ended my trip with a week of going to my native place for a wedding and then spending time with my family. It was such a great trip because of how much I had missed home. Everything about Bangalore felt magnified in its glory and the Metro made it so that even the stuff I didn’t like (like the traffic) were the least of my concerns.

There was a sense of finality as I arrived back on campus though. Just the thought that there will be a lot of things I will be doing for the last time and a lot of people I will be seeing for the last time. But this feeling didn’t last long as the semester kicked off. It wasn’t enough to come up with a startup idea, we had to actually build it. Majority of my memory of February is of the team building Paradigm. I learnt so much about technology and how all the tools and websites and apps that I love are built and scaled. Working on Paradigm sparked a love for Computer Science and programming that had been fading till then. It was also stressful though, especially as it poured over into March and we were debugging more and more. We had an unsuccessful initial launch after which I went into an almost robotic mode. I would sleep for around 2-3 hours and spend the rest of my time debugging our code. I would miss classes and miss work as well in my pursuit of launching our product before our upcoming Cancun trip. I’m not sure whether it was the sleepless nights or the hours spent feeling like I was banging my head against a wall, but the feeling when it worked without failing for a whole hour and we could announce it is the most proud I’ve felt about something I’ve done.

To add to my catharsis, we released on the day that we were set to begin our journey to Cancun. Going to Cancun was one of the most fun and rewarding experiences I’ve had. Every moment I spent there was one I will remember. From going to Chichen Itza to Cocobongo to Mandala to the restaurants in our resort and the characters we met, every single experience was one that felt like it was going to last forever. It was also nice to just not have to worry about anything else for seven days and genuinely enjoy the company of my friends. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am completely straight-edge (meaning that I have never consumed alcohol or smoked or anything like that). This trip was the closest I’ve come to wanting to drink and it was a moment for me to realize that if I could resist the temptation there then I could resist the temptation at any time.

Coming back from Cancun was tough, the unmatched vibes of the previous week were quickly dimmed by a tough week of homework and responsibilities. This is also when it started setting in that college was coming to an end soon. I also still didn’t have a job and the tension of that was snowballing. One huge thing that happened was the chance for the Paradigm team to go to the YCombinator Startup School East in Boston. Here we got to meet and have 1-on-1 conversations with hugely successful people in the tech industry – the founder of Twitch, the creator of Google Photos and Gmail, the creator of UK’s biggest mobile banking app etc. Hearing their thoughts and insights about our company gave us crucial insight on how to monetize our product going further.

We went to see the Solar Eclipse in Vermont. Although the whole drive ended up being around 13 hours, seeing the eclipse with my own eyes was something to behold. It was unlike anything I had ever seen or experienced. I am so grateful for being able to see something so special and rare. That’s when the semester began truly wrapping up. Suddenly, everything had a little more weight and sentimentality. So many “lasts” happened in the forthcoming weeks. Our last dinner together, our last movie at the Hadley Cinemark, my last hug with someone in a particular place, the last time I would smile at someone on the bus.

Thinking back on it as a cumulative time, I am extremely grateful for my time at college. It was such a fun and rewarding experience and I am truly blessed and thankful to have been able to spend it with a group of people that I love and care for so dearly. At the conclusion of my academic journey (I think), I am glad I got to do it the way I did. I’ll miss UMass and Amherst so much. I’ll miss the laughs shared in the dining halls, I’ll miss the nights in North, I’ll miss library Sundays, I’ll miss my solitary walk up the hill every night, I’ll miss Sweets & More, I’ll miss my RA friends who I might never meet again, I’ll miss belonging in a place at a moment of time that I’ll never get back.

What’s next for me? I don’t know. I’m looking for a job. I’m trying to run a startup. I’m trying to spend time with my family. Trying to get healthier. The possibilities for the future are endless, but I will always look back at my time at UMass as one of the best things to happen to me. It truly did happen to me. Whatever tiny ripple effect of decisions in the grand scheme of the universe that led to me being at UMass with the people I was with at the time I was there is the right universe. I am largely indifferent about how it could have been cause I don’t think there’s a universe in which I’m happier and look back with more fondness about my time at college. I’m gonna miss it. Goodbye childhood. Hello, adulthood.

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